Harrolds.Blogspot.com: 2015

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

HOLY HUMOR

From: glepore Sent: Wednesday, December 09, 2015 Subject: HOLY HUMOR

HOLY HUMOR

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"

His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'

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There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.

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"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."

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A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.
Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

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There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

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While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."

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A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven.."

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A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
"Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

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People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.

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Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.
The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day , the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.
He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."

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Last, but not least, a great one:

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.
"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner."
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

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Just sayin' - When you carry the Bible, Satan gets a headache..... When you open it, he collapses..... When he sees you reading it, he faints..... When he sees that you are living what you read, he flees..... And when you are about to forward this message.... He will try and discourage you.. I just defeated him!!! Any other takers?

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Harvard, 1642, "Let every Student...consider well, the maine end ofhis life and studies is, to know God and Jesus Christ which is eternalllife"

Subject: Harvard, 1642, "Let every Student...consider well, the maine end ofhis life and studies is, to know God and Jesus Christ which is eternalllife"

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American Minute with Bill Federer

Harvard, 1642, "Let every Student...consider well, the maine end of his life and studies is, to know God and Jesus Christ which is eternall life"

Son of a butcher, his family died when a plague swept England, leaving him an estate.

He attended Emmanuel College, was ordained, married and sailed for Massachusetts where he pastored the First Church of Charlestown.

At age 31, he died of tuberculosis on SEPTEMBER 14, 1638.

His name was Rev. John Harvard.

The College at Cambridge was renamed for him.

Ten of the twelve presidents of Harvard prior to the Revolutionary War were ministers, as were fifty percent of the 17th-century Harvard graduates.

On the wall by the old iron gate at Harvard University's main campus entrance, and noted in Harvard Divinity School's catalog, is the statement of Harvard's founders:

"After God had carried us safe to New-England, and wee had builded our houses, provided necessaries for our livelihood, rear'd convenient places for God's worship, and settled the Civill Government:

One of the next things we longed for, and looked after was to advance Learning and to perpetuate it to Posterity; dreading to leave an illiterate Ministry to the Churches, when our present Ministers shall lie in the Dust...

...And as wee were thinking and consulting how to effect this great Work, it pleased God to stir up the heart of one Mr. Harvard, a godly gentleman and a lover of learning there living amongst us, to give the one half of his estate...towards the erecting of a college and all his Library."

As 106 of the first 108 schools in America were founded on Christianity, Harvard's declared purpose was: "To train a literate clergy."

Harvard college was founded in "In Christi Gloriam," as the founders believed: "All knowledge without Christ was vain."

In 1692, the motto of Harvard was: "Veritas Christo et Ecclesiae" (Truth for Christ and the Church).

The word Veritas on the college seal references divine truth, and was embedded on a shield, which can be found on Memorial Church, Widener Library, and numerous Harvard Yard dorms.

The shield has on top two books facing up and on the bottom a book facing down, symbolizing the limits of reason and the need for God's revelation.

Harvard's Rules & Precepts, September 26, 1642, stated:

"1. When any Scholar...is able to make and speak true Latine in Verse and Prose... And decline perfectly the paradigims of Nounes and Verbes in the Greek tongue...(he is allowed) admission into the college.

2. Let every Student be plainly instructed, and earnestly pressed to consider well, the maine end of his life and studies is, to know God and Jesus Christ which is eternall life, John 17:3

and therefore to lay Christ in the bottome, as the only foundation of all sound knowledge and Learning. And seeing the Lord only giveth wisedome, Let every one seriously set himself by prayer in secret to seeke it of him Prov. 2,3.

3. Every one shall so exercise himselfe in reading the Scriptures twice a day, that he shall be ready to give such an account of his proficiency therein, both in Theoreticall observations of Language and Logick, and in practicall and spirituall truths, as his Tutor shall require, according to his ability;

seeing the entrance of the word giveth light, it giveth understanding to the simple, Psalm, 119:130.

4. That they eshewing all profanation of God's name, Attributes, Word, Ordinances, and times of Worship, do studie with good conscience carefully to retaine God, and the love of his truth in their mindes,

else let them know, that (notwithstanding their Learning) God may give them up to strong delusions, and in the end to a reprobate minde, 2Thes. 2:11, 12. Rom. 1:28.

5. That they studiously redeeme the time; observe the generall houres...diligently attend the Lectures, without any disturbance by word or gesture....

6. None shall...frequent the company and society of such men as lead an unfit, and dissolute life. Nor shall any without his Tutors leave, or without the call of Parents or Guardians, goe abroad to other Townes.

7. Every Scholar shall be present in his Tutors chamber at the 7th houre in the morning, immediately after the sound of the Bell, at his opening the Scripture and prayer, so also at the 5th houre at night, and then give account of his owne private reading...

But if any...shall absent himself from prayer or Lectures, he shall bee lyable to Admonition, if he offend above once a weeke.

8. If any Scholar shall be found to transgresse any of the Lawes of God, or the Schoole...he may bee admonished at the publick monethly Act."

Get the book America's God and Country Encyclopedia of Quotations

In 1790, the requirements for Harvard stated:

"All persons of what degree forever residing at the College, and all undergraduates...shall constantly and seasonably attend the worship of God in the chapel, morning and evening...

All the scholars shall, at sunset in the evening preceding the Lord's Day, lay aside all their diversions and...it is enjoined upon every scholar carefully at apply himself to the duties of religion on said day."

Samuel Langdon was a colonial chaplain and pastor before being chosen as President of Harvard in 1776.

In an Election Day address, May 31, 1775, Harvard President Samuel Langdon spoke to the Massachusetts Provincial Congress:

"We have rebelled against God. We have lost the true spirit of Christianity, though we retain the outward profession and form of it.

We have neglected and set light by the glorious Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ and His holy commands and institutions.

The worship of many is but mere compliment to the Deity, while their hearts are far from Him. By many, the Gospel is corrupted into a superficial system of moral philosophy, little better than ancient Platonism...

...My brethren, let us repent and implore the divine mercy. Let us amend our ways and our doings, reform everything that has been provoking the Most High, and thus endeavor to obtain the gracious interpositions of providence for our deliverance...

May the Lord hear us in this day of trouble...

We will rejoice in His salvation, and in the name of our God, we will set up our banners!..

...Wherefore is all this evil upon us? Is it not because we have forsaken the Lord?

Can we say we are innocent of crimes against God? No, surely it becomes us to humble ourselves under His mighty hand, that He may exalt us in due time...

My brethren, let us repent and implore the divine mercy.

Let us amend our ways and our doings, reform everything that has been provoking the Most High, and thus endeavor to obtain the gracious interpositions of Providence for our deliverance..."

Harvard President Samuel Langdon continued:

"If God be for us, who can be against us? The enemy has reproached us for calling on His name and professing our trust in Him.

They have made a mock of our solemn fasts and every appearance of serious Christianity in the land...

May our land be purged from all its sins!

Then the Lord will be our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble, and we will have no reason to be afraid, though thousands of enemies set themselves against us round about.

May the Lord hear us in this day of trouble... We will rejoice in His salvation, and in the name of our God, we will set up our banners."

After being President of Harvard, Samuel Langdon was a delegate to the New Hampshire Convention which ratified the United States Constitution in 1788.

Samuel Langdon gave an address "The Republic of the Israelites an Example to the American States":

"The Israelites may be considered as a pattern to the world in all ages, and from them we may learn what will exalt our character, and what will depress and bring us to ruin.

Let us therefore look over their constitution and laws, enquire into their practice, and observe how their prosperity...depended on their strict observance of the divine commands both as to their government and religion."

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