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From: drude Sent: Monday, June 02, 2014 Subject: Never Stand in Line Again ...
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Interesting snippets 'attributed to' Ronald Kessler's book about our presidents.(rfh note: below are mostly facts, some are unproved or anecdotal per http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/s/secret-service-presidents.htm)(rfh: "I can personally testify to the veracity of the statement about Reagan treating the SS & OTAs with respect & of his personally greeting most. And that Carter was very dour until cameras lighted up.)
JOHN & JACQUELINE KENNEDY
*A philanderer of the highest order. *
*She ordered the kitchen help to save all the left-over wine during a State dinner, mixed it with fresh wine and served again during the next White House occasion.*
LYNDON & LADYBIRD JOHNSON
*Another philanderer of the highest order. In addition, LBJ was as crude as the day is long. Both JFK and LBJ kept a lot of women in the White House for extramarital affairs and both had set up early warning systems to alert them if/when their wives were nearby. Both were promiscuous and oversexed men.*
*She was either naive or just pretended to not know about her husband's many liaisons.*[ e.g. crude: "These Negroes, they're getting pretty uppity these days and that's a problem for us since they've got something now they never had before, the political pull to back up their uppityness. Now we've got to do something about this, we've got to give them a little something, just enough to quiet them down, not enough to make a difference." ~ Lyndon B. Johnson (Democrat) ]
RICHARD & PAT NIXON
*A "moral" man but very odd, weird, paranoid. He had a horrible relationship with his family and was almost a recluse.*
*She was quiet most of the time.*
SPIRO AGNEW
*Nice, decent man. Everyone in the Secret Service was surprised by his downfall.*
GERALD & BETTY FORD
*A true gentlemen who treated the Secret Service with respect and dignity. He had a great sense of humor. *
*She drank a lot!*
JIMMY & ROSALYN CARTER
*A complete phony who would portray one picture of himself to public and very different in private e.g. would be shown carrying his own luggage but the suitcases were always empty. He kept empty ones just for photo ops. He wanted people to see him as pious and a non-drinker but he and his family drank alcohol a lot! He had disdain for the Secret Service and was very irresponsible with the "football" with nuclear codes. He didn't think it was a big deal and would keep military aides at a great distance. Often did not acknowledge the presence of Secret Service personnel assigned to serve him.*
*She mostly did her own thing.*
RONALD & NANCY REAGAN
*The real deal, moral, honest, respectful and dignified. They treated Secret Service and everyone else with respect and honor, thanked everyone all the time. He took the time to know everyone on a personal level. One favorite story was early in his Presidency when he came out of his room with a pistol tucked on his hip. The agent in charge asked: "Why the pistol, Mr. President?" He replied, "In case you boys can't get the job done, I can help." It was common for him to carry a pistol. When he met with Gorbachev, he had a pistol in his briefcase.
*She was very nice but very protective of the President and the Secret Service was often caught in the middle. She tried hard to control what he ate. He would say to the agent, "Come on, you gotta help me out." The Reagans drank wine during State dinners and special occasions only otherwise they shunned alcohol. The Secret Service could count on one hand the times they were served wine during family dinner. For all the fake bluster of the Carters, the Reagans were the ones who lived life as genuinely moral people.*
GEORGE H. & BARBARA BUSH
*Extremely kind and considerate, always respectful. Took great care in making sure the agents' comforts were taken care of. They even brought them meals. One time she brought warm clothes to agents standing outside at Kennebunkport. One was given a warm hat and, when he tried to say "no thanks" even though he was obviously freezing, the President said "Son, don't argue with the First Lady. Put the hat on." He was the most prompt of the Presidents. He ran the White House like a well-oiled machine.*
*She ruled the house and spoke her mind.*
BILL & HILLARY CLINTON
*Presidency was one giant party. Not trustworthy. He was nice mainly because he wanted everyone to like him but to him life is just one big game and party. Everyone knows about his sexuality.*
*She is another phony. Her personality would change the instant cameras were near. She hated with open disdain the military and Secret Service. She was another who felt people were there to serve her. She was always trying to keep tabs on Bill Clinton.*
ALBERT GORE
* An egotistical ass who was once overheard by his Secret Service detail lecturing his son that he needed to do better in school or he would end up like these guys, pointing to the agents.*
GEORGE W. & LAURA BUSH
*The Secret Service loved him and Laura Bush. He was also the most physically in shape who had a very strict workout regimen. The Bushes made sure their entire administrative and household staff understood that they were to respect and be considerate of the Secret Service.*
*She was one of the nicest First Ladies, if not the nicest. She never had any harsh word to say about anyone.**Karl Rove was, in fact though, the guy who was the most caring of the Secret Service in the administration.*
*BARACK HUSSEIN & MICHELLE OBAMA
*Clinton all over again - hates the military and looks down on the Secret Service. He is egotistical and cunning. He looks you in the eye and appears to agree with you but turns around and does the opposite. He has temper tantrums.*
*She is a complete bitch who basically hates anybody who is not black, hates the military and looks at the Secret Service as servants.*
o'jokes:
The anecdote reproduced below presents an idealized final conversation between General McChrystal and President Obama upon the occasion of the former's tendering his resignation at the White House, with the President supposedly getting in a "cheap parting shot" only to be one-upped by the General's sarcastic response. Although this account has been widely circulated on the Internet as a "true story," it's actually
The anecdote reproduced below presents an idealized final conversation between General McChrystal and President Obama upon the occasion of the former's tendering his resignation at the White House, with the President supposedly getting in a "cheap parting shot" only to be one-upped by the General's sarcastic response. Although this account has been widely circulated on the Internet as a "true story," it's actually
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just a reworking of a very old joke.
The basic form of the joke presented here is one in whichCharacter A acknowledges that Character B finds him contemptible and suggests that Character B would like to perform some denigrative act towards him (such as urinating on his grave or punching him in the face). Character B then gains the upper hand by stating that he'd rather not have to wait in line, thereby implying that a whole lot of other people find Character A contemptible as well.
This form of joke is typically presented in a military context (often with one or both of the characters involved being service members), with the second character delivering the punchline by exclaiming that he'd resolved he'd "never stand in line again" after leaving military service. All of these elements can be seen in the following example from 1963, as published in Catholic Digest:
The basic form of the joke presented here is one in which
This form of joke is typically presented in a military context (often with one or both of the characters involved being service members), with the second character delivering the punchline by exclaiming that he'd resolved he'd "never stand in line again" after leaving military service. All of these elements can be seen in the following example from 1963, as published in Catholic Digest:
The 1st sergeant was preparing the discharge papers of a batch of draftees whose term of service was up. "I'll bet you guys are just waiting for these papers to go through so you can punch me in the nose," he remarked.
"Not at all, sergeant," replied one of the men. "I promised myself that once I got out of the army I'd never stand in line again."
"Not at all, sergeant," replied one of the men. "I promised myself that once I got out of the army I'd never stand in line again."
Read more at http://www..snopes.com/politics/humor/standing.asp
"NEVER STAND IN LINE AGAIN" (
Some men carry and handle their diplomacy better than others.
When former U.S. Military commander in Afghanistan, Stanley McChrystal, was called into the Oval Office by Barack Obama, he knew things weren't going to go well when the President accused him of not supporting him in his political role as President.
"It's not my job to support you as a politician, Mr. President, it's my job to support you as Commander-in-Chief," McChrystal replied, and he handed Obama his resignation.
Not satisfied with accepting McChrystal's resignation the President made a cheap parting shot. "I bet when I die you'll be happy to pee on my grave."
The General saluted. "Mr. President, I always told myself after leaving the Army I'd never stand in line again."
In an orchestrated event to promote newer, more restrictive gun laws, President Obama addresses an audience of school children at a West Texas elementary school.
He stands silently at the podium and then begins to clap and pause, clap and pause. He does this for a while before speaking.
"Every time I clap my hands, a child somewhere in America dies from gun violence. Even a child should be able to see the solution." President Obama looks expectantly over the audience.
A little boy raises his hand. "Maybe you should stop clapping."
President Obama is down south courting red states voters by touring schools. At a 6th grade class in North Carolina, the President asks the children if they know the difference between a recession and a depression.
One little girl raises her hand. "My daddy says if the neighbor loses his job, its a recession, but if my daddy loses his job its a depression."
President Obama smiles at the little girl's answer, until she finishes..."and if you lose your job, Mr. President, my daddy says that's a recovery."
One little girl raises her hand. "My daddy says if the neighbor loses his job, its a recession, but if my daddy loses his job its a depression."
President Obama smiles at the little girl's answer, until she finishes..."and if you lose your job, Mr. President, my daddy says that's a recovery."
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President. The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Obama is a 'post turtle'."
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.
The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'."
The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there and you just wonder what kind of a dumb ass put him up there!."
*A taxpayer voting for Obama is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders.* -- unknown
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