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"It is much more important to kill bad bills than to pass good ones."
-- Calvin Coolidge (1873-1933) 30th US President "Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, they don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous." -- Will Rogers
From: jrp Sent: Tuesday, September 17, 2013 Subject: OUCH!!!!!!!!!!
While in China, an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you; you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here in the US; we know very little about it."
The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc."
The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis."
The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!"
The doctor replies, "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want, but surgery is your only option."
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you; you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here in the US; we know very little about it."
The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc."
The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis."
The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!"
The doctor replies, "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want, but surgery is your only option."
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease."
The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. "Stupid Amelican docttah, always want ampootate. Make more money dat way. No need ampootate!"
"Oh, thank God!" the man exclaims.
"Yes", says the Chinese doctor. "Wait two week, it faw off by itself!"
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease."
The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. "Stupid Amelican docttah, always want ampootate. Make more money dat way. No need ampootate!"
"Oh, thank God!" the man exclaims.
"Yes", says the Chinese doctor. "Wait two week, it faw off by itself!"
"The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking." -- Will Rogers
"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." -- Mark Twain
I don't think either one of them knows what it's all about, to be honest with you. Both sides are doing nothing but just looking towards the next election." -- Will Rogers, Radio, June 9, 1935
Addendum:
Ouch! Putin Answer About Terrorism Stuns Press Conference to Silence
video source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-S1ZfjZmjgA
Ouch!
This video of Russian President (then Prime Minister) Vladimir Putin's response to a question about terrorism at a G-8 summit press conference was posted in early 2008. However, his answer is worth noting now in light of Barack Obama's rather dispassionate first response to the Nigerian Christmas Day bomb plot terrorist which came off as sounding like a tepid legalistic statement from a deputy district attorney. Here is a transcript of the question from a French journalist and the blunt response from Putin which stunned the press conference to silence:
FRENCH JOURNALIST: "... Don't you think that by trying to eradicate terrorism in Chechnya you are going to eradicate the civilian population of Chechnya?"VLADIMIR PUTIN: "If you want to become an Islamic fundamentalist and be circumcised, come to Moscow. We are multiconfessional. We have very good specialists. I can recommend one for the operation. He'll make sure nothing grows back."
Double ouch! And Putin wasn't joking as evidenced by his lack of even a hint of a smile and the deadly look of steel in his eyes. While we are busy Mirandizing terrorists such as the Nigerian underwear bomber, Putin has a whole different approach to terrorism. Call him the anti-Obama.
A few comments from the YouTube thread of this video:
Putin means Terrorism must be stopped at all cost. It cannot be negotiated with.I love that awkward silence at the end.Even the guy next to Putin was like 'Did he just say what I think he said?'
I don't agree with much of Putin's imperial attitude and policies but after watching this video, it is frightening to think how much he must dominate Obama in private negotiations. And what must Putin think about Americans reading Miranda rights to apprehended terrorists?
Oh, and has anybody out there spotted Lorena Bobbitt in Moscow lately?
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