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Wednesday, December 09, 2015

HOLY HUMOR


From: glepore Sent: Wednesday, December 09, 2015 Subject: HOLY HUMOR
HOLY HUMOR
A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'
========
     There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
     "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
     "Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
========
     "Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."
========
     A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.
     Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
     When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
========
     There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
========
     While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
========
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven.."
========
     A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
     "Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
     The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
========
People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.
========
     Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.
     The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
     Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day , the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.
     He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
========
Last, but not least, a great one:
     The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.
     "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."
     During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."
     At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner."
     And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
=======
     Just sayin' - When you carry the Bible, Satan gets a headache..... When you open it, he collapses..... When he sees you reading it, he faints..... When he sees that you are living what you read, he flees..... And when you are about to forward this message.... He will try and discourage you.. I just defeated him!!! Any other takers?


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Mar 11, 2008 - "My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world.  I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it." -- B. Hussein Obama

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o'KGB?: "Remember..comrade, one day it will be your mission to destroy those bourgeoisie capitalist freedoms." small video camera image
o'mam: 'The Prettiest Sound On Earth At Sunset' is the Muslim call to prayer. small video camera image
o'anti-colonialist: Constitution..is imperfect..flawed..colonial small video camera image
o'Marxist: 'I sought out..the Marxist professors..' small video camera image
o'cap'n tax: 'Under my plan, energy costs will necessarily skyrocket..'
2008: o'bamacide's 'Culture of Death' "The first thing I'd do as President is sign the Freedom of Choice Act."
o'who?: 'We do not consider ourselves a Christian nation..' small video camera image
ø'commie: 'It's not surprising..they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion..' small video camera image
o'bamacide: 'doesn't want his daughters punished with a baby..mistake' (773)
2008: '..5 days away..fundamentally transforming the U.S. of America..' small video camera image
2008: 'Judge me by..whom I surround myself.'
2009: "Islam has a proud tradition of tolerance." Hussein Obama, Cairo, Egypt, June 4, 2009 small video camera image
2010: 'I am a muslim."
2012: 'If I had a son, he'd look like..' small video camera image
2012: o'stand down 'What difference does it make?, phony scandals, real dead peoplesmall symbol of a sound speaker
2013: 'Catholics and Protestants are divisive..'
o'der führer: '..reject..'voices' that warn of tyranny.'
2014: o'der leader 'That's the Good Thing as a President, I Can Do Whatever I Want.'

"The Rise and The Fall of Great Civilizations - From Apathy to Dependence to Slavery"
http://www.corson.org/archives/sociological/S27_090109.htm
by 'The Corsons', John and Janice Corson (John is a member of the American Conservative Union and the Federalist Society.)

2nd Amendment: Safety and Training small books icons movie or video sound or narration Games/Diversions Reference and Reading small books icons movie or video
"Arm your self with the ballot, while you still have arms." -- rfh
773The 2012 Presidential Election:but not for many children! Read Facts as to Why not? & See contributor$ who benefit.
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Judica me, Deus, et discerne causam meam de gente non sancta.
Do me justice, O God, and distinguish my cause from the nation that is not holy.
- Psalms 43 KJV, 42 Douay Rheims

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The U.S. Deficit in 2007 was $9,007,653,372,262.48
The federal government has accumulated more new debt -- $3.22 trillion ($3,220,103,625,307.29) — during the tenure of the 111th Congress than it did during the first 100 Congresses combined, according to official debt figures published by the U.S. Treasury." -- By Terence P. Jeffrey, CNSNews.com (Read The Full Story)
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3 years ago: The Debt ~ $125T+! Then Obama:  Up $22T+ in only 3 years! $22T to $26T+ by 2015!  Since November 2011 to January 2013 he has added $2 Trillion to the deficit!  States' Unfunded: $3.2T+! • (Dec10) From Jan'09 the deficit: $10.2T→$14.6T up $4.3T/42%! -- Federal unfunded liabilities total $84 trillion .. equal to 5.7 percent of the present value of all future GDP, which translates into about 31 percent of the long run federal revenue estimate,” the report states.  “Thus federal revenues would have to rise immediately and permanently to 24.1 percent of GDP to cover the fiscal imbalance.” (source: http://dailycaller.com/2012/07/16/report-federal-unfunded-liabilities-total-84-trillion/)
Federal obligations exceed world GDP! Is the US Gov't Bankrupt?Unfunded a myth?
Deficit: $ national debt Totals Source: http://www.usdebtclock.orgUnfunded Liabilities: $ 107,599,889,000,000 (25Sep17)
Many Americans actually pay $1 out of ever $2 earned to some form of tax while ~50% of people pay no taxes!  Do you pay your bills?  The Fed takes $3 in and spends $5.  Debt per citizen: $51,985 - Debt per taxpayer: $142,513! (13Dec12)
Also, see the blog videos below at http://harrolds.blogspot.com/2009/09/national-debt-how-come-how-much-who-do.html
What were you doing in the last hour while the U.S. Gov't spent $188 Million Dollars of our money!  (Every Hour, Every Day!) (Apr11)   In 8 years, President Bush added $5 trillion to the national debt; President Obama, according to a revised Dec11 GAO report, added $4T+ to the U.S. deficit in 2011 alone!  The GAO estimates the deficit, including o'scamcare & mandates, may grow from $15T+ to over $26T+!  UPDATE: A little-noticed event occurred at approximately midnight on Monday, October 31, 2011.  The National Debt exceeded the GDP!  Imagine what these numbers are going to be now that Obama is reelected! (src)
A trillion seconds pass in 31,688 years.  At $1/sec it would take 41,194 years just to pay off o'tax'n spend's new Feb12-Feb13 added debt - 538,696 years to pay only the national debt or 4,404,632 years to settle the debt+unfunded liabilities!

"Over the last four years our national debt has risen nearly $6 trillion, and just last week the debt topped an astounding $16 trillion.  To put that in perspective, $16 trillion is enough money to fund the US military, along with the military of every NATO country combined… for the next sixteen years!  Government spending is projected to hit $3.8 trillion this year alone.  Even after every tax dollar paid by Americans has been counted, the government will still overspend by another $1.13 trillion.  Every single second of the day our government spends over $12,000.  So in the time it takes you to read this article, roughly five minutes, our government has spent $3.6 million.  It take four seconds for the government to spend what the average American earns in an entire year."  (source: by Tim Phillips 17Sep12 at TownHall.com)
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     It has been suggested that o'who?, the clown, and 'those who surround him' are not the bumbling fools they appear to be.  Nor are they one of the 'Three Stooges' but rather are shrewd implementation/drivers and fellow-travelers of policies designed to disarm the citizenry & collapse the American economy.  Why?  o'nocchio's grandiose scheme to "fundamentally transform America" is more than simple campaign rhetoric as can be seen by his use of "enabling acts" to circumvent the Constitution of the United States.  As Ollie used to say, "Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into."

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When Men Were Men - "Scots Wha Hae" Battle of Bannockburn in 1314 Listen to the poem A Speaker GIF Image. "Scots Wha Hae"

Values:   "Scots Wha Hae"  1] poem lyrics..text of "Bruce before Bannockburn" also known as "Scots wha hae", written by Robert Burns
Robert Burns b.1759-d.1796, 8May1794, The Morning Chronicle)  1] "Supposed to be addressed by Bruce to his soldiers before the Battle of Bannockburn against Edward II."
Listen A Speaker GIF Image. to the poem "Scots Wha Hae" read by Doug Robertson [3m55s],  Music by Steve McDonald from 'Bannockburn' [Stone of Destiny]" (.mp3, 3.7MB)
• alternate A Speaker GIF Image. ScotWha2.ram Stream in Real Audio (rm, 3m55s) re [ Robert Bruce's March to Bannockburn, Robert I, the Bruce (1274-1329) also know as Robert the Bruce, "The Hammer of the Scots" ] plus A Speaker GIF Image. "Scots, wha hae Wi' Wallace Bled," (midi, Scottish Songs) & .midi sequenced with lyrics [src] ***
and A Speaker GIF Image. Scots Wha Hae (bagpipes) by the 48th Highlanders of Canada (7MB, .mp3, 3m14s)
and A Speaker GIF Image. Scots Wha Hae, bagpipes solo (1.3MB, .mp3, 1m22s)
and A Speaker GIF Image. Scots Wha Hae (2.7MB, .mp3, 3m4s; 'The Corries' ["Battle songs of Scotland", sung by Ronnie Browne solo] & A Speaker GIF Image. Scots Wha Hae with pipes (4.3MB, .mp3, 4m29s)
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mailto: Robert Harrold formerly dba AERC, El Centro, CA, US 92243

Judica me, Deus, et discerne causam meam de gente non sancta, ab homine iniquo et doloso erue me.
Do me justice, O God, and distinguish my cause from the nation that is not holy; rescue me from the deceitful and unjust man.
- Psalm 43 KJV, 42 Douay Rheims  (http://barnhardt.biz)

There are certain universal truths.  There is right and wrong.  Life is, choice Isn't.  The 2nd Amendment is for you and me, not the government.

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